Writing and Reading Nostalgic

So, for spring break, I appear to be on the "writing every other day" plan - just can't seem to do 20 things at once and don't have the energy late at night.

We have company right now and, as I have stated in earlier posts, I am doing quite a few spring projects.

In fact, I have checked several off of my blackberry memo entitled "summer house 2010".

Actually, that's what I'm focusing on in today's post.

A few posts back, I intimated that I have given up the planner. My obsessive listing and re-listing was causing more stress than it was saving me, so I just up and left if behind. But, because list-making is really at the core of who I am, it isn't gone completely. I have simply moved to an electronic form.

Now, when I first got the blackberry, I had anticipated giving up paper lists and my planner in favor of this more economically conservative alternative; however, I found it difficult to plan out a week or a month because I really like to SEE the WHOLE month at a time...and I don't mean a 1.5 in. by 1.5 in. box with a bunch of dots in it letting me know that "something" (but you'll have to click on it to find out what it is) is happening on a given day.

For some reason, the way my brain works it needs to look at a plan or a list over and over for several days or weeks or months, and then I finally internalize the information and no longer NEED the list for my sanity. But, then, I get major satisfaction from physically crossing an item of the list.

But, since making the leap and giving up the planner, I am actually NEEDING to write down fewer things, so having the electronic version is actually working right now.

I don't know why. And I'm not going to question it, but at least it is better for the planet. And since I usually have my phone with me at all times it means I usually have my list with me. Also handy.

I know, I'm slow to the uptake. Everyone else I know has been doing this for years. I, on the other hand, was born in the wrong era, and it's obvious in many of my choices.

So, for today, because of the slant of sunlight and the clouds and the wet grass and mud, I am feeling the need to read parts and pieces of Louise Erdrich's "The Blue Jay's Dance" and Richard Jones' "The Blessing" and Annie Dillard's "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek"...and maybe, because I am home bound and working around the house...a little Emily Dickenson.

Waiting - Richard Jones

I've been waiting here so long
I've forgotten what it is I'm waiting for.
I've forgotten why I wait by the window
watching the road and listening.

Maybe someone's come already?
Maybe I hid in my room
when I heard the footsteps?
Maybe I'm not waiting, but hiding?

Or maybe it's impossible to hide
and someone is here with me now.
Maybe I'm already holding everyone in my arms
I'll ever love, or know, or be.